It was stupid of him to go, he knew that
by books-and-memories
Summary: End!Verse. What happens when Castiel goes on a raid he isn't supposed to be on?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Castiel wasn't entirely sure why he'd decided to go on the raid in the first place, maybe it was to prove something to Dean and show that he wasn't a 'useless hippie' as he'd been called in a fit of rage from the fearless leader. He knew Dean had a lot on his shoulders but the words had still hurt Castiel, sure, he buried himself beneath whisky, drugs and women but he only did it to try and get by without going completely crazy in this place.

Castiel had been wandering about the camp aimlessly, his hands shoved into his pockets as he dragged his feet along the graveled paths. As he was walking he spotted the convoy of trucks as they were on their way out of the camp and after a quick internal argument he was taking off toward's them at full speed. "Hey Chuck" he said slightly breathlessly as he caught up to them and jumped up onto the back of the last one. Moving to sit beside his friend and offering him a small smile as he settled in, "So, where are we heading?" he asked the ex-prophet. Chuck had lost his gift when the angels had left, which made sense seeing as it was from them after all, he was surprised that Chuck had taken it so well actually, when he had realised he'd lost his grace he hadn't spoken to anyone for weeks.

Chuck looked up from his map and notes with a slightly dazed look, staring at Castiel like a deer caught in the headlights before his brow furrowed slightly, "You're not supposed to be on this raid Castiel, what are you doing?" he questioned knowing that Dean would kill him if something happened to the fallen angel.

"Don't worry about it, I have his express permission, scouts honour" Castiel promised, holding up his three fingers in a mock gesture of honesty despite the lie, knowing Dean would never let him go on a raid without him being there. He'd picked up on a few of the human gestures whilst he'd been around, the movements were still quite awkward but they were getting better as time progressed. "I asked him and he said it was alright" he continued to add in the hopes of convincing Chuck.

Chuck looked at Castiel for a second, frowning slightly as he squinted at him, only half believing it but they were already on their way out and they'd scoped out the area the night before and it had seemed alright so he figured Castiel would be safe enough. "If you say so" he murmured softly, drawing the words out as he watched Castiel for a moment longer before looking back down at his notes to study the layout of the building they were going to search.

The drive took an hour and a half but they finally reached the house. A few of the men had been searching the neighborhood a few days ago and they had fallen across a still fully stocked basement behind a locked door, no sign of an owner. The men slowly got out of the truck, guns held stiffly in their arms as they looked around. Zach was first to enter the house, closely followed by Chuck who was in charge of organising the findings, note book in hand as they entered.

They first scoped out the house to make sure it was empty before heading down to the basement. Castiel was following Chuck while five of the men remained outside at the ready, a man left in each of the drivers seat as well in case they had to make a quick get away.

As they walked in Zach flicked the light switch, the fluorescent bulb casting an eerie glow across the room, the corners still shrouded in darkness where the light didn't quite reach. The light however did reveal rows upon rows of tinned food and in the corner, much to Chuck's delight, was a tower of toilet rolls, balancing precariously one on top of the other. Daniel walked in behind Castiel, eyeing the goods wearily as he walked over and picked up a tin, turning it over in his hands, "This doesn't seem a bit off to you? All of this food, there's got to be something wrong with it" he said quietly as he looked over at Chuck questioningly.

Chuck lifted his shoulders in a small shrug, "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" he stated as he looked over what their was. "Right, Zach, go and get some of the other men and start loading things onto the trucks" he ordered, watching as he left before beginning to tick of what they'd found on his checklist.

Everything was going well, they'd gotten most of the food onto the trucks and Castiel was carrying one of the last boxes up. Most of the men were now smiling and joking with each other. The mood having considerably lightened at having found enough food to last the camp a few weeks if rationed correctly. For this reason they failed to notice the demon until it was somehow right in front of Castiel, seemingly have appeared out of nowhere. Castiel stumbled back startled, his mouth already opening to yell for the others but all that left his lips were a cry of pain as the demon pulled out a blade and quickly slid it fully into the fallen angel's shoulder. It sneered as it pulled back its arm to repeat the action, this time aiming for somewhere more vital when it suddenly dropped to the ground, Zach standing behind it holding a now bloodied knife, his expression slowly losing the humor as he looked at Castiel's shoulder.

The box in Castiel's arms dropped to the ground heavily as the blood from his shoulder began spreading across his chest and soaking his shirt. He stood there for a moment, his breathing coming in short gasps before he pitched forward, only just stopping from hitting the floor as Zach managed to catch him, "Shit" he mumbled as he picked Castiel up. He quickly called the men into action as he lay the ex-angel across the back of one of the seats, glancing around and seeing more demons appearing from the houses and back streets, yelling for Chuck to get over here. A few seconds later Chuck was sitting with Castiel's head in his lap as he pressed down on the wound with one of the mens jackets, the blood quickly soaking it as the fallen angel fell in and out of consciousness.

"Dean's going to kill us isn't he?" Zach said from the front seat as he sped off back to camp, leaving the rest of the men to follow behind them. Although the journey there took an hour and a half the drive back only took 20 minutes what with Zach's reckless driving. Chuck continued to look over Castiel worriedly, not liking how the colour was slowly fading from his skin as he lay there.

"He's most likely going to kill us" Chuck agreed, swallowing thickly before breathing a sigh of relief as the camp came into sight, "You take him in, go straight to Jenn, she's the best nurse we've got. It doesn't matter if she's busy, if Castiel dies we're all dead" he continued sharply as they pulled up outside of the medical cabin. Zach quickly got out, carefully taking Castiel into his arms before carrying him through the doors.

Jenn looked up as the door was burst open, "Oh no" she whispered when she realised who was in Zach's arms, not particularly liking the amount of blood covering the fallen angel's chest, "Set him down here" she said as she pointed over to the cot. Going over to the cupboard and pulling out a needle, thread and a bottle of alcohol By the time she'd gathered everything Castiel was on the bed, Zach having cut through his shirt to help her get to his shoulder.

"Is he going to be okay?" Chuck asked as he ran into the room, panic lining his features as he looked at the state Castiel was in.

Jenn lifted her shoulder in a small shrug as she poured the alcohol onto a cloth and began wiping away the blood, "I- I don't know but you need to go and tell Dean what happened. Now!" She added sharply when Chuck just stood there, returning her attention back to Castiel as she cleaned the wound, flinching internally at every small whimper and sound of pain he made. She soon had it clean, biting her lip as she saw how deep it was but there wasn't much she could do. She quickly set about closing it, picking up the needle and thread as she began to thread it and pull the skin together, the blood flow lessening as she worked.

She poured some alcohol over it again before motioning for Zach to help sit him up while she wrapped a bandage around his chest and torso and tied it off tightly. She grabbed a cleaner cloth and began wiping Castiel's forehead gently before standing up and beginning to tidy up the area around them, praying for all of them that he would be alright.

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Hey, please review and follow! I hope you like it, I love End!Verse and I wanted to try my hand at it, this is my first try at writing this kind of thing so feedback would be much appreciated. My tumblr is the same as my account name on here if you have any questions!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Dean had spent majority of the day planning their next few raids and doing an inventory of the camp to see which items they needed most so that he could decide where they would be searching for them. He had only really noticed that Castiel was missing about an hour ago, figuring that he'd either gone off to mediate, get high or throw another orgy he'd dismissed it as nothing. For this reason when the convoy of trucks came back and he saw the men carrying someone in he'd ignored it, after all, he had to keep up his persona of 'fearless leader' as the fallen angel liked to call him much to Dean's distaste. He knew the nurse could handle it, she'd stitched him up enough times for him to know she could handle it without Dean there asking questions. However when Chuck came up to him moments later, a nervous look upon his face as he said that one name, his blood had instantly turned cold, the stupid hippie wasn't even supposed to be on that raid in the first place. Without listening to the rest of what Chuck had to say Dean had walked through to the medical room, people seeing the hard expression on his face and instantly moving out of his way, pushing open the door angrily to where Castiel was lying on the makeshift bed.

Castiel slowly blinked his eyes open as he heard the door slam shut, groaning internally when he saw Dean. His senses seemed delayed, dazed, and slow. However, despite that he was still sweating, shaking, and the pain in his shoulder was still very much at present. He took in shallow breaths as he tried to focus. Somewhere in the back of his mind he figured he should probably be worried that Dean was going to kill him himself. But he didn't have the energy to worry about that. He opened his eyes and smiled up at the other man, a weak smile that didn't really reach his eyes. The expression on Dean's face immediately made him shut them again. Taking a deep breath, he prepared himself for the lecture that he was more than one hundred percent sure was coming his way. "Oh. Hey Dean." he greeted, just about managing to make his grin convincing, if it had been anyone else looking that is, "How's your day been?" he asked weakly.

Dean ignored the question, instead his eyes scanning over the fallen angel, a grim look seeping into his features as he took in the bandage wrapped tightly around Castiel's chest and shoulder, a red mark the only thing marring the white material. He walked over to one of the medical cupboards in the corner and pulled out his set of keys before opening it and taking out a few painkillers before closing it and locking it up again. It was his special stash of medical supplies for emergencies and from the look of Castiel's pale skin and the beads of cold sweat that covered his brow it seemed like it was important. He knew Castiel found it harder to deal with pain than he did, not that the fallen angel would ever admit to that but it was part of the whole /fallen/ thing, now that he couldn't easily heal himself he had a lower threshold for pain. He shoved the keys into his pocket and took the pills over, handing them to Castiel before getting him a small bottle of water from the shelf, "Take these" he said, his words clipped before turning to the Jenn and Zach, "You can leave, thank you"

Castiel blinked, once, twice, then decided now really wasn't the time, as Chuck had said, to look a gift horse in the mouth. He reached up weakly, willing his arm to stop shaking as he took the pills and placed them in his mouth, his expression an odd mix between agony and utter relief, and swallowed them with the aid of a gulp of water. Not realizing how thirsty he was, that gulp turned into nearly half the bottle. "Sooo… Who told you I was here huh? Thought you were busy "organizing" or whatever it was you were meant to be doing." Castiel asked quietly.

Dean arched his eyebrow slightly before taking the bottle of water and setting it on the side for Castiel, folding his arms across his chest as he looked at the fallen angel, "And I thought you were busy getting high or whatever it is you do these days?" he asked, his tone harsh, "Not off on raids you aren't even supposed to be on in the first place? You know I would have said no if you'd asked me" he continued, looking away from Castiel as he rubbed his forehead. He didn't want to talk to Castiel like this but ever since Sam had said yes to Lucifer and Bobby had died the fallen angel was all he had left and he couldn't have Castiel putting himself in harms way like that. He knew for a fact that Castiel had probably been careless, forgotten how fragile his body was now that he didn't have that huge angelic presence inside of him.

"Which is precisely why I didn't ask." Cas answered with a small grin, stretching out lazily, though quickly aborting that movement when his injured shoulder protested. "'Little Fallen Angel can't go on raids.' Pff." He knew for a fact he sounded childish, but he couldn't bring himself to care. If Dean wanted to treat him like a child then maybe he ought to act like one from time to time, "I had it completely under control." he mumbled. In a fit of something.. bravery, stubbornness, whatever the hell it had been... He had been so dead set on proving that he could pull his own load. That he wasn't just a burden to Dean. All he knew was that in some twisted way, he had done it for Dean. And he had failed. Like he had failed at everything else had had ever done.

Dean stiffened slightly at Castiel's words, looking at him like he was a complete idiot as he stayed quiet. "Of course you did" He replied quietly a few moments later, his eye's landing on Castiel's shoulder before looking up at him, "I guess your version of under control and my version of under control are very different if yours includes getting stabbed" he continued, pacing back and forth as he spoke. "Do you have any idea how careless this was Cas? And your smiling about it? Just last week James got killed and I had to put down Hannah, that's not to even mention what would have happened if you'd gotten infected by one of those things" he shook his head, resting his hands on the rail at the bottom of the bed as he looked at Castiel, trying to get across the seriousness of the matter.

"Why Dean…" Castiel began, and the tiny little piece of him that still lived back in 2009, when everything was… Well, not exactly simple, not a whole lot better really, but back when he was still who he used to be, screamed at him for being so bitter, told him that a fight with Dean was the last thing that needed to happen right now. But the Cas who lived in 2009 didn't need to fight with Dean to see some form of emotion. "We know /exactly/ what would happen if I got infected." he tried to convince himself that the thought of it didn't hurt nearly as much as it did. "But that didn't happen. See? All good."

"All good?" Dean repeated slowly, his eyes widening slightly, "You were /stabbed/ Cas!" he said, fighting to keep his anger down, "In the shoulder, you're lucky it didn't pierce anything vital, what if next time it's your chest and the blade hits your heart or your lungs?" he continued venomously, "We are not equipped to deal with that kind of thing and you /will/ die. You could still die… what if you get an infection, you know our supply of antibiotics is running low and we're not going to be able to fight it if you fall ill." Dean said as he turned away and ran a hand through his hair, he already had enough on his plate without having to worry about Castiel as well, "You're reckless Cas, you don't think"

Cas drew in a deep breath and his lips parted, ready to yell out every retort he had, ready to call Dean out on every reckless little thing he had done in the years, ready to just scream at him until at least one of them felt better. He wasn't sure if it was the head rush that stopped him or if it was the real hurt he heard from the other man that stopped him."Then what would you have me do?" he asked, hoping his voice didn't sound as small in Dean's ears as it did in his own, "You want me to sit around camp and do nothing?"

Dean's back stiffened as he heard Castiel take a deep breath, readying himself for the onslaught of comments he was sure were heading his way, raising his eyebrow slightly when he hard the fallen angel exhale again. He sighed softly at Castiel's quiet tone as he questioned him, turning to look at him, his expression softening as he looked at him. "I'm not saying you have to stay here Cas, I just want you to inform me if you're going on a raid so I don't have to find out from Chuck when you return injured. However saying that I don't want you going on any raids when I'm not there either, at least that way I know you're safe and being careful" he added, his voice quieter now as the anger slowly seeped out of him, tiredness gathering in its wake as he rubbed his eyes.

"So I need a babysitter huh?" he probably could have made it sound a bit more scathing if he tried, but now he was just… Tired. And that was another thing he hated about this whole being human deal. He shook his head, more to try and clear his thoughts than anything else, maybe the painkillers were making him drowsy. If anything though, now seemed a good time to change the subject. "Speaking of being careful, running yourself ragged isn't exactly what I'd call safe." he said, not unkindly and with a vague gesture at Dean, "You could probably rest a bit more."

Dean ignored Castiel's last few comments, waving it off as though it was nothing, he had to much to worry about and take care of to rest and even then his rests weren't exactly… well, restful. They were always plagued with nightmares that had him jerking awake and covered in a cold sweat, his hands always shaky as he reached for the bottle of alcohol to soothe himself. "I'm not saying you need a babysitter Cas… just someone to look out for you, you are still new to this whole human thing after all" he sighed, rubbing his neck as he watched Castiel, "You should sleep, it'll help the healing process. I'll come check on you in a few hours"

Castiel tried to push himself up, grimacing as he put weight on his shoulder, but did his best to ignore it, "So, what, it's okay for you to go around being an idiot but not for anyone else?", that could probably have come out a bit more forceful too if he weren't trying to breath through the pain in his shoulder. Once he managed to get himself sat up and a bit more comfortable and cleared his throat, he tried again, "Don't you think doing what we do on even less sleep than we used to get is just about as reckless as anything I've ever done? You can't just-" he cut himself off, biting down on his lower lip. This was not the time for that conversation.

"I'm /fine/ Cas" Dean said coldly, his brow furrowing as Castiel sat up, "What the hell did I just tell you? Get some rest of you're just going to aggravate it and probably pull out the stitches the nurse put in" he continued as he crossed his arms again, the hard expression returning as he looked over Castiel. "Like I said, resources are limited and I don't need you wasting them, lie back down and go to sleep" he finished, raising his eyebrow at Castiel slightly, almost as though daring him to go against Dean's orders. "I have things I need to take care of and I don't need to be worrying about you while I'm doing them, I already have enough on my plate without this" he said, motioning his arm to encompass the room.

Castiel bristled. Once upon a time that action alone would have been enough to show just about anyone not to mess with him. As it is he probably doesn't even look mildly threatening. "I will when you do." he bites out, giving Dean the best hard look he could muster while fighting off drowsiness inducing painkillers. "You are not the only one around here who worries, Dean." It didn't occur to him to try and keep himself sitting up straight, but he only slumped a little, still managing to stay mostly upright.

"Castiel, rest, now" Dean said, his tone leaving no room for argument as he glared at Castiel, his eyes narrowing, "You're only going to make yourself worse" he continued to add as he looked at Castiel expectantly, seeing the way he had slumped slightly down the pillow and noting the tired expression on his face despite how much he knew the fallen angel was trying to hide it. "I swear Castiel, if you don't rest now you won't go on any more raids. The men won't let you out with them if I give them orders not to, you know they wouldn't go against my word"

"No, you're the one who's making yourself worse." he answered, but lay back on the bed as he did so. He was tired after all, and he did want to rest, but this was something he wasn't going to let go of. "You go around, doing so much work and whatever, you drink almost as much as me, you can't deny it, and there's no way you get your four hours like you used to." he glances up at the other man then, looking thoughtful, before carefully shuffling his way onto one side of the bed, "I'll rest if you do."

"Cas" Dean sighed softly, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked down, "I can't, there's- there's to much to do" he shook his head, happy that Castiel had at least lain down, "I can't, I'll rest later once I've finished everything" he promised, hoping that that was enough to make the fallen angel finally rest. He turned and started walking towards the door, pulling it open and hovering in the doorway as he looked over at Castiel, "I'll come check on you in a few hours, make sure you get some rest or I'll hide your drugs and alcohol. Don't think I won't" he added, the ghost of a smile on his lips, disappearing as quickly as it had arrived.

Castiel let out a sigh, watching as Dean chased the smile off his face almost the second it got there. For a moment, just one tiny moment he looked like the Dean he remembered, the Dean he missed."Do whatever you have to do and get your ass back." he muttered, throwing an arm over his eyes, convincing himself that the light was in his eyes and he was in no way trying to hide any disappointment, "Or I'll come find you. Then it's your fault if my stitches open."

"You dare leave that bed Cas…" Dean shook his head before leaving closing the door behind him as he walked out. He inhaled a deep breath of fresh air as he ran a hand through his short hair in an attempt to clear his head before spotting Chuck over by the trucks as the men unloaded what they had found, deciding to help out to keep himself occupied. He laughed hollowly when he saw how excited Chuck was about the amount of toilet rolls they'd managed to find, the laugh sounding empty even to his own ears as he cringed internally. They took the cans into the food hall and sorted them all out before everyone headed off to do different things around the camp, some going on perimeter watch others going to find a way to pass the time in the rec hall as they'd come to call it. It wasn't much but it had a few board games and some packs of cards. Dean found himself heading there before changing direction and wandering around the edge of the camp as he checked all of the gates and fences to make sure it hadn't been breached. Eventually he headed back to the food hall, grabbing a can of tinned spaghetti for the ex-angel and nothing for himself as he headed back. Not bothering to knock as he headed in, a small smile briefly crossing his lips before fading soon after when he saw that Castiel was asleep. He set the can down on the side before pulling the chair closer to the bed as he sat down heavily, watching Castiel sadly as he followed the movement of the fallen angels chest with each inhale and exhale.

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Hi, next chapter! Please review and favourite it would really help :) I hope you enjoyed it!


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